I have been a musician for about 13 years now. As someone who is always on stage and in front of the camera, having psoriasis can be a challenge. I used to only wear long pants and long sleeve shirts while performing and it can get very uncomfortable on stage. I tend to sweat a lot because of the bright hot lights, and this causes my skin to get itchy and irritated. The itchiness can be very distracting, but I just have to deal with it.
What bothers me more is what happens off stage and behind the scenes. I still remember this incident very clearly; I was being interviewed by a TV host who was obviously uncomfortable when she saw my red inflamed skin. She did not have to say anything for me to know how she felt. The expression on her face showed it all. She kept her distance from me and acted like I was contagious and would spread the condition to her if she came close.
This is not uncommon as it happens to psoriasis patients, like myself, all the time. I have been getting similar reactions to my skin ever since I was in high school. My friends used to call me names like cicak man (lizard man), ular (snake) and other unkind things that I cannot even remember anymore. Although they were just joking, but it still affected me emotionally.
My journey with psoriasis has not been easy. My skin used to be really bad – I had red flaky patches all over my arms, legs, back and even my private area. It looked like I had a giant map on my back. I had a few patches on my face and scalp as well. Sometimes, the itchiness would be so bad that it felt like I was being eaten by my own skin. The pain would be so overwhelming that I would not be able to fall sleep.
For me, I think what really helped control my psoriasis was when I decided to change my lifestyle. Once I started eating clean and exercising regularly, I noticed that my condition got better day by day. I try not to stress myself as it is one of my flare-up triggers. Other than that, I moisturize my skin regularly, so it does not become dry and flaky.
The struggle with this condition is not just physical. I used to struggle emotionally as well. My family really helped me deal with this from day one. They never gave up on me even when I felt like giving up on myself. They always encouraged me to stay strong, to keep going and not let psoriasis hold me back from doing the things I love. I used to avoid doing things like swimming at the beach because I was so ashamed of my skin condition, but not anymore.
It took me a while to gain back my confidence and open up to others about my story. I decided that I had to share my journey and help other people who might be going through something similar. The world is big, but sometimes it can feel really small. That is why it’s important to know that you are not alone in your struggles, and that other people understand exactly what you are going through.
If I can help just one person out, I know that I’m doing my part to make this world a better place to live in.
Asiff
CTX.PsO.02/MY2009290028
