I have been an elementary school teacher for over 23 years. One thing that I know for sure is most kids do not have filters. When they are curious about something, they would just say what is on their mind and ask questions without giving much thought about how it would make you feel.
When my psoriasis became visible in places that I could not hide, like on my face and scalp, my students would often approach me and ask me about my red skin. I did not know what to say, so I just told them that I had a food allergy.
It is easy dealing with the kids at school, because I know that they mean no harm. Dealing with adults on the other hand, is much more challenging. Although most of my colleagues and acquaintances never said anything to my face, I could tell that they were uncomfortable being around me.
I was afraid that they might think I’m contagious, so I always prefer to keep my distance from them. During meetings, I would sit far away from everyone, and I avoid going near fans, so that my dander would not fly everywhere.
I was also often in and out of the hospital, and I’m not sure about how they felt about me always being on sick leave.
I was afraid that they might think I’m contagious, so I always prefer to keep my distance from them. During meetings, I would sit far away from everyone, and I avoid going near fans, so that my dander would not fly everywhere. I was also often in and out of the hospital, and I’m not sure about how they felt about me always being on sick leave.
In 2010 alone, I was hospitalised six times. One time, I spent 10 days in the intensive care unit, as my condition was too severe. The slightest body movement caused my skin to crack, peel, and fall off.
Being admitted to the skin ward has always been discouraging and heart-breaking. Although my condition was bad, it was considered mild compared to some of the other patients. Some of them could not even move, as their bodies were covered with pus. Others could not open their eyes, as their faces were so swollen. Seeing them in such great pain made me extremely sad for them and worried for myself.
Fortunately, my life changed in 2019 when my doctor encouraged me to apply for a medical grant from the Perak State Education Department. My application was successful at the second attempt, and I received a grant to cover the costs for seven biologics treatments.
I noticed slight improvements after my first injection, and after receiving my third injection, my skin was completely cleared. I was so happy, because I was able to wear short sleeve clothes for the first time in 13 years. I was also able to participate in activities that I loved and missed, such as swimming. I felt like I was finally able to be myself.
Although I am very grateful to be able to receive this grant, I am also very concerned that my last treatment will be in December. What will happen to me after that? If I am unable to renew the grant, I do not know how I will be able to continue my treatment on a teacher's salary.
To this day, I still think about the patients that I met during my time in the hospital. I always wonder how they are doing now, and if their conditions have got better or worse. I hope I can I continue to get the treatment that I need to manage my psoriasis, and I wish the same for them too. I believe everyone deserves to be healthy and happy.
Azizan
CTX.PsO.01/MY2111171947
