I started developing psoriasis when I was 12. When it first started, I thought it was just dandruff. Then the tiny flakes started to grow into patches, and that worried my parents. They took me to a private clinic, and the doctor told them it was a fungal problem. I was not diagnosed with psoriasis until I saw a dermatologist. The news devastated my entire family and me. None of us knew what psoriasis was.
The doctor gave me steroid cream and oral medication. The patches started disappearing, but they came back after a flare-up two years later. It then spread to my entire body, so my dermatologist prescribed medication to help me control it. Since stress and heat are major triggers for me, I had another flare-up when I was studying for my SPM. The constant heat also aggravates my condition, so I have to be careful to stay out of the sun.
To this day, I do not wear clothes that show off my legs, arms, or back where my psoriasis scars are located. My self-esteem and confidence were at an all-time low, and I was worried about what people would say. It is also extremely hard for me to go to events and make new friends. My psoriasis has also started to spread to my forehead and neck. When it was at its worst, I was so worried because it was quite hard to cover it.
No one knows about my psoriasis besides my family and two best friends. I have not told anyone about what I am going through due to my bad experience telling my extended family. When I told them, they said it was my fault that I have psoriasis, or that I have psoriasis because of my lack of personal hygiene and not taking care of my body. That was traumatic for me because my condition is not my fault. I did not understand why I was being blamed for my condition. It was upsetting. Now, I do not tell anyone that I have psoriasis.
More than 70% of my body is covered with psoriasis which makes it hard for me to sleep. I can only take cold showers because hot water hurts my skin. As a child, I wanted to be a model, but it made me feel very insecure. I shy away from people a lot and have become introverted. Now my dreams have changed. I hope to study business.
One of my biggest fears is that my condition will get worse, especially knowing that there is no cure, and it is a lifelong battle. I fear my loved ones will leave me because of my condition. I just found out that my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and nephew also have psoriasis, but they refuse to see a doctor about it.
In recent months, I have fully accepted my psoriasis, and I feel more comfortable going out. Even though the condition is still the same, I am proud of myself. I can truly say that I now love who I am, including my skin.
However, the battle is not over yet. In the back of my mind is the fear of complications or progression that can happen because of my psoriasis. I have also started to pay more attention to my body. The aches and pain can no longer be brushed off anymore and I see my dermatologist regularly. My advice to my fellow fighters is to seek treatment early and see your dermatologist if you have any additional symptoms before it is too late.
Meera
By True Complexion
Approval Code: MY2210276271
