I am a homemaker and the mother of a three-year-old son. I have lived with psoriasis for the past 13 years. It started on the scalp with dandruff like flakes. When it started to spread to my hairline and ears, I decided to go to a doctor.
I was then officially diagnosed with psoriasis. Prior to my diagnosis, I had never heard of psoriasis before. I assumed that it was similar to a rash and didn’t think much about it. I only started to worry when I researched and read more about it. It was then that I realised, and it really hit home, that psoriasis has no cure.
Two years after my initial diagnosis, my condition worsened, and I started developing joint pains. I then went to see a specialist, thinking that I had injured my wrist. After doing a scan, the doctor confirmed that I had developed psoriatic arthritis. It has now affected my knees and shoulders.
With psoriatic arthritis, my joints are usually stiff in the mornings or when the weather is cold. I have joint pain even when I touch the affected areas. My limbs get numb occasionally. I also have trouble carrying heavy things and doing heavier housework.
One of the most heart-breaking things about my condition is that I cannot even carry my son. Even when he was a baby, I couldn’t carry him because it would hurt my wrists too much. My mom had to step in to help me take care of my son because I couldn’t do it myself.
I had another flare up in 2014 after contracting dengue when my psoriasis flared up and spread to my whole body. My skin felt like it was burning, and it itched so much. It was the first time I had been in nearly unbearable pain, and I couldn’t stop crying. I was so worried that I would have to be in this pain my whole life. I couldn’t sleep at all because of the intense pain. I then went to see my dermatologist for treatment. The doctor also explained that the flare up was caused by my deranged immune system due to the dengue.
Before seeking treatment, I felt like giving up because it seemed like nothing worked. I found that doing yoga twice a week has helped me manage my condition. I also manage my stress with meditation every morning, as it is one of my triggers.
None of my friends and extended family know about my condition. Only my immediate family knows about it. I am worried that they will not understand my condition and will assume that it is contagious. To cover the patches on my forehead, I always style my hair with bangs. I usually wear long-sleeve shirts, long skirts or pants, even when I am on the beach with my son. I used to love swimming, but I don’t go into the water anymore because of my insecurities about my body. I also find it hard to look at myself in the mirror because I don’t feel pretty enough. I didn’t know my father had psoriasis until I was diagnosed. My late father, who passed away 15 years ago, had mild psoriasis on his scalp, but he did not even see a doctor about it.
I hope to get back my confidence. I want to share my story so other people in my situation will hear or read about it and know that they do not have to be ashamed of it. I want to raise awareness about psoriasis and let people know that they are not alone.
Sabrina Raj
By True Complexion
Approval Code: MY2207143319
