I remember having a severe flare up last year. It was so bad that I could not walk, and even sitting down was painful. It was hard for me to take care of my kids. I remember my eldest son asking me, “Mommy, are you going to die?” I told him, “Not today.”
It was a very emotional moment for me, but my daughter interrupted my thoughts when she said, “If you die, can I have your room?” I could not help but laugh. These little things that my kids say and do, really help lighten the situation when I’m feeling down.
I have three children who are seven, four, and two years of age. Although I love them dearly, and I cannot imagine a life without them, my pregnancy was a suffering experience, as it made my psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis condition worse.
I was so weak that I had a hard time getting out of the bed and doing simple tasks.
Earlier this year, I was in discussion with my dermatologist and was planning to start my biologic treatment later this year. However, in April, I found out that I was pregnant, so I had to put all my medications and treatment plans on hold for the next few years.
Because of my pregnancy, my back has been hurting a lot. I was experiencing heart arrhythmias and it felt like my heart was about to explode. My cardiologist told me it was caused by my psoriatic arthritis, which is affecting my spine. I’m worried that my condition will worsen as my pregnancy progresses. I cannot take any of my usual medications until I am done with the pregnancy and breastfeeding, and I do not know if I am able to handle all the pain.
The fact that psoriasis runs in my family worries me greatly, as I am afraid that it will be passed on to my children. My great grandfather, grandmother, mother, and sister are all psoriasis patients. Although no one knew about the condition until I was diagnosed at the age of 12. None of them visited a doctor and got their condition diagnosed.
My seven-year-old daughter is developing early signs of nail psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. I am very worried about her, as I do not wish to see her experiencing what I had to go through. It was a hard time for me, going through my childhood and teenage years.
Going through puberty and dealing with changes in your body is a challenging process for all young girls. But when you have to deal with psoriasis, it makes thing even harder. I really hope I can help my daughter to manage her condition before she becomes a teenager herself. Although she is still young, I am educating her about psoriasis and how to manage it. I want her to become someone who is strong and confident. I want her to know that she can live a good and fulfilling life, despite living with psoriasis. It has not stopped me from enjoying my life to the fullest, and I do not want it to stop her either.
Mahiran
CTX.PsO.03/MY2111171947
